I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
