OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
