Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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