If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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