i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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