Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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