Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
