You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
birth control should be required to get into college
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
