now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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