Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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