When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
