i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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