Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
