I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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