So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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