Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
