We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
