I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
