Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize