my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
And then he peed in my hair
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