You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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