so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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