At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
