So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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