Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
