idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I died a long time ago.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize