Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Life is so much better after having sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
