He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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