I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
