Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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