Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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