Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
