i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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