i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
