stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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