..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
