I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
