that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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