never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
