I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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