I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
