if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
