Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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