If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
