I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
high people should be assigned attendants
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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