You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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