There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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