I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
