Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
