She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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