No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
