Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
