Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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